User blog:Bantha117/Ron Swanson vs Theodore Roosevelt - ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL) Season 1
for the iTunes cover and title cards.]] GOD''DAMN'' that was a tough nut to crack. Doesn't help that I'm a cracked nut meself. Oh well, time for Munkee Show & Tell. On behalf of myself and Tigger, welcome to the 5th (originally 4th) installment of ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL). That's Overrated Rap Battles of Undetermined Quality (Oh God That Title Is Absurdly Long) if you haven't figured it out by now. Today we see the 26th President of the United States and renowned badass of the 20th century Teddy Roosevelt, facing off against the perhaps equally badass fictional head of the Parks & Recreation department Ron Swanson (of Parks and Recreation fame), in a battle of American badassery. Credits to Mr. Scrawnald Scribblebibble for the suggestion. I take full responsibility for the lateness and suck of this battle. :P Tigger's Note: I didn't carry nearly enough burden on this battle that I felt I should have. Sure, Munkee knows more about both competitors, but I do enough lyric tinkering, in my opinion. Either that, or Munkee was just 2gud4me. Beat Ron Swanson vs Theodore Roosevelt OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY! OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG! VERSUS BEGIN! Theodore Roosevelt: (Begins at 0:10) You're in for a rough ride, Ron! You'd better be ready. Not even help from Leslie could beat President Teddy! I speak harsh, carry big disses, and now I'm betting You'll be tripping up this time worse than Freddy Spaghetti! I’m on a mountain far greater than any pyramid of yours. Think you're badass? HAH! You squeal at a lil' horse! Continents get split when Roosevelt lets loose! It takes more than a mustache to stop a Bull Moose. Ron Swanson: (Begins at 0:30) Bull Moose? I decline. The term for YOU is bullshit. I'm a real man, the only fit to rock the Bully Pulpit! There are two acceptable verses: yours is not one. Your "big disses" all miss against Ron F***ing Swanson. You're like Tammy: Satan's butthole, a grade-A bitch, And a joke of bureaucracy with that high voice pitch. I took down Gryzzl, son, a Teddy doesn't scare me. Anyone would have been better as mayor, even Jerry. Theodore Roosevelt: (Begins at 0:50) If a bullet couldn't stop me, then how could you possibly? Libertarian in government, a parodoxical oddity, With economic prospects and foolish concepts so shoddy No matter how much gold you bury, so get off of my property. Couldn't eat a banana. When I want things done, I just do it. You're beloved on TV, but when it comes down to it You're as fake as your values, while I'm an American bastion. Now get back or I'll silence your ass like Li'l Sebastian. Ron Swanson: (Begins at 1:10) Show some goddamned respect! You're famous for a toy, nothing more, nothing less. Weak-willed, sick kid, but still I'd expect A better challenge from a Republican reject! Go back to Africa, Ted, you might have a shot there. As a politician you brought as much change as my hair. Should've got Frankie's help 'fore you lost your life's light. It's your third loss, son. Go say good day to your wife. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? WHY IS MUNKEE SUCH A FGT HE COULDN'T FINISH THIS ON TIME? OVERRATED... RAP BATTLES... OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY! OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG! Who won dis? Ron Swanson Theodore Roosevelt